7 Quick Takes about Carving Pumpkins (Better Late than Never), Dollar Store Surveillance, and Take Your AI to Church Day

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

I somehow misplaced a letter from our bank that listed my 16-year-old's PIN for his debit card. When I finally found it, I wasn't sure where the 16-year-old was at the moment so I just yelled into the other room, "I found your PIN number!" in the hope that he would hear me.

Without looking up, his 8-year-old brother reading a book on the couch responded: "The 'N' stands for number." 

Fine, whatever. Just remember who taught who how to use a spoon.

—2—

For years the teenagers have carved pumpkins at a church Halloween party, so we never did it at home with the younger kids. Quite frankly, I was avoiding it. Whenever we tried it in the past, the kids were too little to handle knives and wouldn't touch the seeds so Phillip and I were basically doing all the scooping and the carving, and the kids would just get bored and wander away leaving us with a big mess to clean up.

However, my 8-year-old mentioned a couple of times that he really wanted to carve pumpkins this year, so when I drove by a place giving away free pumpkins last week I picked one up for each kid.

Turns out it's WAY easier now that they're older. The 8- and 10-year-olds did practically everything on their own, I just got to watch them and roast the leftover pumpkin seeds.

Here is my favorite jack-o-lantern, designed by the 16-year-old after a character from a video game called Plants vs. Zombies:

The older and more crumpled he gets, the better it looks in my opinion.

The 12-year-old designed the cutest frog you ever did see:

So I won't be scared to carve pumpkins with the kids again next year. I'll look forward to it because I know it's enjoyable now, and they'll even help clean up when we're finished!

—3—

I saw this fake security camera at the dollar store:

As hilarious as it is brilliant.

I love that it does absolutely nothing, but in order to give suspicious people the illusion that it does something, you need to add batteries to power the red light on the front.

—4—

Phillip and I are starting to feel like two ships passing in the night, so we did some brainstorming about how we can spend more time together. Adding traditional date nights isn't an option because (1) one or both of us need to be home to drive kids to activities every night, and (2) we're too exhausted to add in another thing even if we could.

We decided that twice a week, we're going together to pick the 8-year-old up from gymnastics instead of taking turns doing it. The gym is 30 minutes away, so that's a whole hour round trip.

On Monday we mostly talked business and scheduling for the household, and on Wednesday we just had a conversation like two people who enjoy spending time together and it was probably the longest conversation we've had in a year.

—5—

This text came to my phone from an unknown number.

If I work 10-20 minutes a day for 50 weeks a year, that's a salary of $75,000-$450,000. In other words, what an awesome opportunity! I've already sent Daria literally all of my personal information. I can't wait to get started.

 

—6—

In reading news, I finished The Day the World Came to Town (a heartwarming true story that happened during 9/11) and started Parenting with Love and Logic (I read a ton of parenting books but for all the times I've heard this one recommended I've never read it). 

After finishing the first three chapters of Love and Logic, I think I can sum up the book as "Don't make your kids wear a coat if you want them to learn to make good decisions."

Which is good advice and totally true, but I would add one thing. Still ask them to shove it in their backpack, just to show their teacher that she doesn't need to send a note home asking if you're aware of the no-cost winter gear for student families collected during the school's annual coat drive. (ASK ME HOW I KNOW.) Maybe that's the "logic" part of Love and Logic and I still haven't gotten to that chapter.

—7—

At work, Phillip is in charge of making sure that his company is fully utilizing AI in what they do. As a result, he's always thinking about new ways to use it, even when he's at home.

So when it was his turn to plan the Family Home Evening lesson, it surprised exactly no one when he decided to give it using AI.

First, he picked a session of general conference and asked AI to summarize each talk. Then, he fed the summary paragraphs into an AI image generator. He asked it to show the pictures at random, and the kids tried to guess which talk went with each picture.

Some of the pictures were as weird as most AI-generated pictures tend to be, but others turned out interesting like this one:

Supposedly illustrates this talk.

In any case, using A.I. was a pretty cool idea that kept the kids engaged and interested. I'm going to have to remember this the next time I give a youth lesson at church.

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7 Quick Takes about Couple Photography, Pelvic Floor Triumphs, and Requesting Funds from No One in Particular

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

What a nice couple... until you see the MAN HANDS! 

Taken during a Sunday walk.

So I guess I'm still looking for a nice couple shot of Phillip and I, but we could probably crop this one and it would be alright.

—2—

Just a few days later, I really did have humongous hands. Or at least a big, swollen ring finger.

I don't even know what caused this.

On Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling like I'd punched something and injured two of my knuckles (I hadn't), but I didn't think much of it until later in the day when I realized that my finger was so swollen I couldn't get my ring off.

If I thought about it too much, I started to feel claustrophobic (Help! I'm stuck in my ring and can't get out!) I tried to stay distracted for the next few days so I didn't freak out, and also reminded myself that in the worst case scenario, Phillip buys way too many tools and probably has a dozen different sizes of wire cutters downstairs.

Luckily, though, the swelling started to go down a little today so I probably won't need them.

—3—

I've been doing a workout video a couple times a week for about a month now, and afterward I always feel such a strong sense of accomplishment... for not peeing my pants during all the jumping jacks!

I feel like I should get one of these worksite signs that says __ Days Without Accidents and hang it by the TV.

—4—

My son pointed out something in the van that he noticed for the first time, and he just laughed and laughed.

If you don't get it, think like an 8-year-old and it'll come to you.

—5—

While on the road, I also saw this vehicle. Something about how the bed sticks out past the taillights on both sides, combined with the fact that there's literal junk in the trunk, makes it look like this truck has a big butt.

Possible inspiration behind the lyrics to the country song "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk."

—6—

Going gluten-free didn't solve the 16-year-old's stomach issues, so instead of taking random stabs in the dark and guessing at what foods might be the problem, we felt like it was more methodical for him to go on a strict elimination diet and then start adding back in one food at a time.

So for the time being, there are only 38 things he can eat. If you don't count oil, spices, and things like baking powder, it's only 27.

He claims that he doesn't mind. For one, he can still have bacon. For another, he has homemade potato chips for dinner every night. I always knew he was a pretty glass-half-full kind of kid, but this is going above and beyond.

It was Phillip's birthday last weekend and we even figured out how to make a cake out of those 38 ingredients that honestly was really good!

—7—

I found this in the house the other day, folded up on the computer desk.

I have no idea who wrote this or what it was intended for. I just hope it's not addressed to me.

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7 Quick Takes about Remembering Our Ancestors, Fixing My Mistakes, and Pant Sizes I Didn't Know Existed

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

We have 0% Mexican heritage, but that did not stop us from creating a Day of the Dead ofrenda in our front hallway.

Día de los Muertos was on November 1st and 2nd, but we had to set up our ofrenda on the 3rd because that's the only day we were all home at the same time. 

That's how we do most everything in our family, celebrating birthdays and holidays whenever we can make it work for our family. Bonus points if it's in the same general calendar vicinity of the actual event.

The kids liked hearing stories about their great-grandparents as we put this together.

It was also because I was late to the game printing out pictures and ordering fake flowers from Amazon. Which, by the way, SMELLED LIKE ROTTEN FISH. I was warned about this; some of the reviews mentioned it but it was way more putrid than I imagined. 

I set the flowers outside for two days, sprinkled them with baking soda, spritzed them with vinegar and Febreze... and eventually the smell faded. Or maybe I'm just nose-blind now and it's a good thing we never have people over.

—2—

My 8-year-old usually brings lunch to elementary school, and I told him he could get milk from the cafeteria to go with it if he wanted. He wasn't sure how to do that, so his middle-school sister came over to explain it to him.

She was describing where to go and where to find the milk, and he interrupted her saying, "They moved things around and the cafeteria isn't set up like that anymore."

"Well, how is it set up now?"

He tried to describe it and answer her followup questions, but I could tell they weren't really getting anywhere. Eventually, she got frustrated and exclaimed, "Well, I don't know how anything works anymore, I'm officially old."

Is it bad that I think these are some of the most gratifying moments of parenting older children??

—3—

After a year, we finally fixed the massive crack I put in our kitchen countertop by stupidly leaving a hot griddle on and forgetting about it. 

We tried a DIY solution but it didn't work, so we knew it was time to call in the pros. The guy used a lot of tools and special equipment and was in the house for about 4 hours working on it (including drying time between coats) and it was totally worth it, in my opinion.

Slightly different lighting due to the time of day, slightly different angle because I'm a lazy before-and-after photographer.

Here's a close-up, and you can really only see where the crack was if you (1) look this close and (2) are purposely searching for it:

The view with your nose 2 inches away from the surface of the countertop.

—4—

This week I've gone over to help a friend clean out a stuffed-to-the-gills desk and closet, and I think I missed my true calling in life to be a professional organizer. I've been super-excited to go over there and help her make more progress, and I come home on a high after doing so. 

When we finished the closet, she was ready to go do something else and I had to pull her back to admire her handiwork, which is my favorite part of the organizing process. "Look at that! Look at that beautiful, organized space you made!" I cried, throwing the closet doors open wide and gesticulating at it wildly. 

I think I got way more satisfaction and enjoyment out of it than my friend did, and it's her closet.

—5—

My 16-year-old son is growing too fast, and I just bought him a pair of 29x34 dress pants. I didn't even know they made that size. Here's where we bought them:

Product image from Amazon.

They're actually a little roomy in the waist but he's just going to have to wear a belt. There's no way I would ever be able to find a 28x34.

My husband, in the meantime, is having a hard time digesting the fact that he may not be the tallest person in the family for much longer. He's still 3" taller than the 16-year-old, but they have the exact same inseam. (I guess he's just growing from the bottom up.)

—6—

The 8-year-old was packing his own bag before we headed to gymnastics practice the other day, and I told him I appreciated that he was doing it without being reminded or asked.

He smiled and told me, "I'm rizz-ponsible." 

I don't know if I can handle Gen Alpha.

—7—

At the gym, they were giving out free pumpkins left over from a Halloween activity, so we took a few home.

My 8-year-old claims that he's never carved a pumpkin (that he remembers, anyway), and I feel bad about that. We didn't get around to it this year, and for that matter, we didn't get around to dying Easter eggs, either. As the youngest of 6 kids, his main memories of childhood will be driving around to all his older siblings' practices and games, not doing fun seasonal activities.

So we won't carve jack-o-lanterns until a week or two after Halloween, but again, see Take #1. That's just how we do things around here, or they don't get done at all.

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7 Quick Takes about Stealing Pants in Reverse, Becoming an Award-Winning Chili Chef, and Getting Suspicious Looks from Birds

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

My college daughter mentioned that she was being woken up by the light through her window, so I thought it would be nice to order her a sleep mask and see if that helped.

I did get her one, but not this specific one because the product image for it looked like the entire family was wearing bras on their faces:

—2—

Last month I took my 16-year-old son fall clothes shopping, and they forgot to remove the ink tag from one of the pairs of pants he bought. The store wasn't conveniently located to me, so it took several weeks to go back and have them take it off.

While I was at the customer service desk having the tag removed, my 13-year-old looked around and bought some clothing for herself, including a pair of pants that we got home and realized STILL HAD THE INK TAG ATTACHED.

I do not have time for these shenanigans.

This time, I stopped by a different location of that store to remove the tag while I was driving home from my 8-year-old's gym, and the second I walked in the door the theft alarms on either side started going off because of the ink tag. 

—3—

A few months ago I picked up a self-improvement journal at the dump (long story) and have actually been getting a lot out of it.

First of all, I tracked my water intake for a month and realized I was dehydrated. The goal was 8 glasses per day, and at first I could barely choke down 4 but it got easier with time. By the end of the month, I was regularly finishing my fourth glass by 10:30AM.

(Full disclosure, once the month ended and I stopped recording how many glasses I had, I stopped drinking as much.)

Second, I made a daily exercise plan and have been sticking to it. I run a mile a day and take the same route every time, but today I ran farther than usual and looked it up on a pedometer map when I got home. And do you know what I realized? This whole time, I've actually been running two miles instead of one. Today, I ran for two and a half miles. 

Before, I'd just assumed my "mile" jogs took so long because I was the slowest runner in the world. This actually makes a lot more sense.

—4—

We went to our church's annual chili cook-off competition, and Phillip decided to enter this year. He's never cooked chili before, but if you know Phillip you know that something like that wouldn't stop him.

First he looked up a recipe that seemed promising, and then he asked AI for tips on cooking the best chili. And do you know what? He won.

If you want to know, AI suggested not cooking the meat before adding it to the chili. You just put it in raw and simmer it for a long, long time until the meat is cooked through. And according to the chili competition judges, it worked.

—5—

For Halloween, we used to have a big noisy gaggle of kids to take trick-or-treating, but this year it was just the 8- and 10-year-old. The oldest two are in college, the 16-year-old was working, and the 13-year-old went out with her friends. Frankly, it was a little boring. I think next year, we need to go trick-or-treating with friends because it was just too quiet.

The 10-year-old was a bank robber and the 8-year-old was an ear of corn. I was the proudest of the corn costume, a little because it made several people laugh and ask "Are you... corn?" and mostly because of this awesome hat I made:

Made out of scrapbook paper following a YouTube tutorial.

Do you know how long it takes to follow an 11-minute video on how to make this thing? Two hours. Remind me to take it with a grain of salt run away screaming the next time I see a DIY tutorial with the phrase "super easy" in the title. 

—6—

My progress learning Spanish is so imperceptibly slow that most of the time, I honestly don't think I'm making any. But every now and then, something happens to show me that I've improved and I'm genuinely shocked.

This week at the grocery store, I overheard an English-speaking couple asking a Spanish-speaking employee where the garlic is, but they couldn't understand each other, so I asked the employee for them without having to stop and think first about how to say it. 

—7—

Birds are funny animals because their eyes are on the sides of their heads, so literally every time they look at you they have to cock their head and give you the side-eye.

My 16-year-old showed me a side-by-side comparison of our bird Pringles and Duane "The Rock" Johnson, and asked if I saw any similarities between the two:

What do you think?

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7 Quick Takes about Comet Sightings, Algorithms Gone Wild, and Reuniting With Jillian Michaels

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

I saw the comet!! All people can talk about is seeing the Northern Lights and Comet A3, and I haven't caught any of it, until I randomly saw the comet twice this week.

The first time I was in the kitchen when the 10-year-old looked out the window and said, "Mom, I see a shooting star, I think!" He often does this annoying thing where he tries to get a reaction out of me by claiming there's something behind me or saying something bad happened like the garage door falling off, so this time I was 100% not even going to look.

Until my 16-year-old muttered, "It better not just be a jet... wait, what is that?" Do you hear what I'm saying? We stood in our kitchen and watched a fiery comet streak through the sky. It was only a minute or so before it disappeared below the horizon, but it was probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

Later that week, my 8-year-old and I saw it in the car while we were driving around. This time, it looked like a jet with a too-short tail, although pointed in an oddly diagonal direction, and it wasn't until I saw a post about it on my neighborhood Facebook page a few days later that it hit me: I'd seen the comet a second time.

Both times, I took no pictures so you'll just have to believe me.

—2—

Is it  just me, or are Facebook algorithms are starting to feel a little unhinged lately? 

First, my feed is now peppered with home makeover "before and "after" photos and I have no clue why. At first I liked them, but it isn't long before you start to feel like something isn't quite right, like a lot of the photos are at least partially AI-generated.

Then there are the fake, weird videos that exist for no other purpose than rage-baiting people into commenting. (Example: a short titled "Money-Saving Hack" shows somebody freezing water in a gallon Ziploc, smashing it with a hammer, then reaching inside the mangled bag to grab pieces of ice with their hands and put it in their drink.) Which boost it in the algorithm and then it gets shown to more people to make them mad, I guess.

Social media is starting to feel like watching The Polar Express. It's almost real enough to be compelling, but also fake enough to be completely unnerving. On the plus side, I'm spending less time online now because that place is getting weird.

—3—

Saw this awesome school bus for sale in a parking lot!

My favorite thing about this is how the 'S' and 'H' were removed to make it the cool bus.

—4—

My 7th grader likes me to drive her to school in the mornings as soon as possible to maximize time with her friends, and one morning I was taking too long to get out of bed so she came in to see what was going on.

I'd slept terribly the night before and felt awful, but ignoring my grumbling and complaining my daughter coaxed me out of bed, anyway. When I finally rubbed my eyes and opened them, I saw her looking at my disheveled hair.

"You look like Einstein," she said.

I stumbled across the room and tried to find my slippers. "I don't feel like Einstein."

She thought for a moment. "I think you feel like Frankenstein."

That was accurate.

—5—

I've wanted to go see the fall colors at one of my favorite hiking spots in New England before it's too late, and the trees have already started dropping their leaves so I seized a brief window of time after school one day and took my 10-year-old on a speed hike.

We got there just before the sun was setting and it was totally worth the view. 

I think I've said before that I love living in New England, have I said that? Have I?! I LOVE IT HERE.

—6—

When I decluttered the house several years ago, I got rid of all the DVDs we own. For the most part, we stream everything or get movies from the library so it works for us. But one of my favorite workout DVDs from about 20 years ago came back to me this week.

I saw a copy of Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred in the swap area at our local dump, and brought it home on a whim. I'll bring it back when I'm done with it, but for right now I'm having a lot of fun using it. I still remember each and every one of Jillian's little quips throughout the video:

"Suck in those abs, stick that tush out! If you've got it, flaunt it, ladies. No shame!" 

"For those of you at home looking for the modified version of a jumping jack, look elsewhere. I'm not gonna give that to you... I've got 400-pound people who can do a jumping jack, so can you."

"I want you floating off the ground right now! Because you strong! This is eeeeaaaasy for you!"

I just don't understand how anyone can stand those HIIT workout videos with no talking and only music. I need a trainer who makes dumb little comments in between all the moves. Give me a workout with some entertainment value or it's just not worth it to me.

—7—

I took my 12-year-old clothes shopping and found that they are selling parachute pants again:

Seeing this tag takes me right back to M.C. Hammer's Taco Bell ad, which was probably the best thing to come out of the year 1991.

On a related note, this same 12-year-old saw the movie Legally Blonde at a friend's house and came home telling me how good it was. Then she asked me, "What other classic movies should I watch?" 

I told her that was a tough one and I'd have to think about it. When it comes to cinema classics, it's pretty much:

1. Citizen Kane
2. Legally Blonde

I can't think of anything else, really.

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7 Quick Takes about Napping or Not Napping, Deciding on Chicken Noodle Soup, and Seeking My Children's Assistance with My Self-Improvement

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

I love living in New England. Practically every day, no matter what season it is, I look around while I'm driving here, there, and everywhere and think "My gosh, this place is beautiful. I can't believe I get to live here."

I wasn't successful in seeing the Northern Lights or the comet, but this is the kind of picture you can just randomly snap without looking on the way home from the temple so I'm not complaining at all.

On this same drive, a deer wandered out into my lane and then bounded up and over the median wall to the other side, it was very cool.

We know families who have moved away from New England, usually to be closer to their grown kids or their aging parents, and I feel a bit of panic like "Noooo, I can't leave here, it's too beautiful." But I said the same thing about the baby and toddler stage, and one thing I've learned is that life does its thing and it doesn't do much good worrying about it, you just have to find the beauty wherever you are.

—2—

I've been going to bed way too late, and I have definitive proof because I'm tracking my sleep in my little self-improvement journal and it's there in undeniable black and white. In fact, it's worse than I thought.

The dumb part is, I should really start taking naps so I'm not a zombie all day. But I consciously decide every day not to take a nap so I'm tired at bedtime, and then I STAY UP LATE ANYWAY. 

It doesn't matter how tired I am, sleeping is boring and there are a million things I would rather do so avoiding naps is not working.

—3—

I've also been tracking how much water I drink, and that's been going much better than the sleep thing. 

At first it was a real struggle to choke down 6 to 8 glasses of water a day, but now that I'm used to it I actually feel pretty good. I also have to pee all the time.

—4—

I've been majorly productive this week. I cleaned out two cars, did multiple mending/sewing projects that I've been putting off for years (literally), and started on a few things related to Christmas.

Getting a head-start on Christmas is huge for me. To illustrate how I usually operate, let me share a conversation I had with a friend recently:

Friend: So what do you do with your third car now that your two oldest are at college and your teenager doesn't have his license yet?

Me: I mostly drive the third car, but I drive the van when it runs out of gas.

Friend: Doesn't Phillip ever fill up the tank?

Me: (shrugging) If it's out of gas when he gets in it.

She started laughing but I wasn't joking. For a lot of things, we are wait-until-the-gas-light-comes-on, don't-do-it-until-it's-an-emergency people. 

—5—

This week I've brought meals to a few people from church who are having a hard time, and my go-to dinner for that purpose is homemade chicken noodle soup (to clarify, I don't make the noodles or the broth from scratch, but I do buy the ingredients and assemble them myself). Chicken noodle soup is an infinitely scalable meal, limited only by the size of your pot. And we have a really big pot.

I remember reading in a book called The Lazy Genius Way to "decide once," meaning figure out how you're going to handle a specific situation and then always do that thing on autopilot forevermore, whether it's wearing the same outfit every Monday or bringing the same gift to every birthday party your child gets invited to. 

Or automatically making a cauldron full of chicken noodle soup whenever somebody needs dinner brought to them.

—6—

In July we had a horrible flight experience. Our plane finally took off after a 5-hour delay, stranding us in our connecting city after midnight with a mile-long line for one single customer service agent handing out hotel vouchers, so we left and paid out-of-pocket for a hotel room.

I figured earlier this month that it was worth seeing what American Airlines customer service could do for us, and they responded with $50 flight credits for each person. A check for the full amount of the hotel room addressed to Mrs. Jennifer Evans came in the mail a few weeks later.

Ever since we flew American Airlines 18 years ago with a toddler who threw up on the plane and the flight attendant was extremely unhelpful (we had nothing to clean it up with, couldn't you at least give us some of those little cocktail napkins from your beverage cart??) I've had a chip on my shoulder. But I've now changed my mind about them.

—7—

As you can see in Take #2, I need help motivating myself to get to bed earlier. So I asked the kids to help me. They agreed to police me on a few rules about using the computer after dinner, and then designed the most annoying bedtime alarm for my phone to go off at 9 PM every night. 

Imagine an out-of-tune clownworld theme song blasted on the recorder (listen to what it sounds like here if you dare), and then a robot voice reads the name of the alarm out loud. The kids named the alarm "It's bedtime, Stupid!"

Like I said, I knew they would be super helpful.

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7 Quick Takes about Supergluing My Kids Back Together, Watching Movies, and Figuring Out Who's Who on My Phone

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

—1—

General conference weekend came and went. I'm still catching up on some of the Saturday talks, since my kids still had 9 billion sports and activities that day and I'm the designated driver (and I don't have an unlimited data plan to listen to them in the car.) 

So far, though, my favorite talk has been the one given by Kristin M. Yee. What I got most out of her talk is to be patient with myself and trust in the Atonement of Jesus Christ to help me change for the better, even if it doesn't happen overnight.

We of course did our beloved Conference Snacks™ tradition, where we bought a bunch of snacks, attached pictures of the prophet and apostles, and passed out the snack when that person spoke. 

My 12-year-old was particularly excited about it because now that our two oldest are at college, our family can buy 6-packs of treats and that perfectly fits the number of people left in our household. We're almost able to pass as a normal family now and fool everyone.

—2—

Between Saturday sessions, the 12-year-old came in and said, "Mom, don't freak out, but..."

Which is weird because she should know that I never freak out in the moment. My brain takes so long to process feelings I can have a whole conversation with someone before realizing that they said something mean to me, and go 1-3 business days before I understand why it upset me and what to do about it.

Anyway, she'd cut her finger and it was bleeding quite a bit, but after we cleaned her up and got a good look at it I don't think it was too bad. I wondered if we should take her to urgent care, but the last few times I've done that they've just held it together with glue instead of putting in stitches.  and since we have Superglue at home and know how to use it, that's what we did, too.

—3—

At drop-off for one of my younger kids' activities, I was making small talk with another parent in the lobby. They were telling me about their child's other sports and honestly, bragging about what place the kid had gotten in this tournament and that one. 

When there was a pause, I attempted to change the subject: "So how's the school year going so far?" The parent said, "Good. [Kid's name] is the smartest in his class!" 

I actually thought I might have heard wrong, but then the parent turned to their child and said "Who's the smartest in your class?" The kid grinned and said "Me!" like this was a drill they'd rehearsed before.

Me, trying to control my face at this point in the conversation.

Why would you say that to your kid? It doesn't even make sense, anyway. There are so many kinds of intelligence: how do you rank who's the smartest in the class? Especially when you're 7 years old and you're still being graded on whether you've mastered the correct way to hold a pencil. I did not understand a single thing about that conversation.

—4—

I'm still trying to recover, sleepwise, from a horrible night of being sick earlier this week. My stomach was completely twisted up in knots, and most of the night was writhing in agony until I collapsed from exhaustion, then the pain would wake me up 30 minutes later and I'd go throw up. But when I threw up, I didn't feel better afterward. It was like hitting the 'back' button and starting all over again.

Anyway, the next day I felt better but I was tired and totally useless, I laid on the couch and watched two episodes of Nailed It! Mexico and two movies. On the plus side, I discovered a new favorite movie called The Map of Tiny Perfect Things. It was clever, heartwarming, and legitimately made me cry and laugh out loud several times. I would highly recommend for teenagers and above.

By the third day I was mostly functional, but my stomach still felt a little wibbly wobbly. I mentioned that to my 12-year-old and she suggested earnestly, "Maybe you're just getting old. Older people always have something that hurts." 

—5—

By the door at CVS there's a rack of calendars, and as I was leaving I happened to notice one that said "GLAMOUR CHICKS" on the cover... with a picture of a hen.

Each month was a new fancy chicken, with a sassy quote to accompany it.

—6—

My 16-year-old isn't a basketball player, but he decided to sign up as a partner for a Special Olympics unified basketball team he saw a flyer for. (Technically, I was the one who saw the flyer. But also technically, he saw it when I showed it to him and told him it sounded like a nice thing to do.) The idea behind a unified sports team is that kids with and without intellectual disabilities are on the same team, practicing together.

I went to watch their first game was yesterday, and I really enjoyed seeing my 16-year-old work to strategically position himself in front of the basket to catch the rebounds and throw the ball back to the player for another shot, and giving them genuine congratulations when they do their best, whatever that is. It reminded me of how he is as an older brother (during his good moments, of course), and it was just a lot of fun to watch.

—7—

The next thing on my to-do list is to figure out how to fix my phone contacts. Somehow, my kids' contacts got mixed up with mine, and my phone uses their names for the contacts by default. 

Meaning that my husband shows up as "Dad," my dad shows up as "Grandpa Jim," and all of my church friends are listed as "Brother/Sister So-and-So" because that's how kids respectfully address adults at our church instead of saying "Mr." and "Mrs." 

Has anyone else ever heard of a thing like this happening? Technology is so dumb sometimes.

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