7 Quick Takes about Robin Hoods in Training, Replacing Doors to the Outside World, and Adding Whimsy to Your Slip-and-Fall Accidents

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

My 9- and 11-year-olds are still on a high from a church youth activity last week where they went to an archery range and learned how to shoot a bow and arrow. The 11-year-old was so into it that he begged us to dust off our archery stuff in the garage, clear out an area in the backyard, and try it out. 

 

So we did.

He's already busy brainstorming ideas for a device that helps track lost arrows, if you want to know how it's going.

—2—

Inspired by the archery, Phillip and I suggested that the kids watch the Robin Hood with us that evening. 

"What year was this movie made?" Phillip asked as we headed to the basement to watch it.

I looked it up and told him, "1973."

"Wow, the animation is going to be terrible." 

"What are you talking about? It's going to be awesome," I answered, thinking of this meme I recently saw floating around Facebook:

So how was the movie? Actually, it held up better than most of our childhood favorites. The animation was a little crude, but it was so creative. The chase scenes in particular were epic and hilarious in their own way. 

I also loved how they straight-up rewrote the laws of nature for so much of the movie. Like how Robin corrected his misfire by shooting a second arrow that caught up to it in midair? Or how Sir Hiss stuck his head in a balloon and blew it up, changed his carbon dioxide into helium, and flew through the air using his tail as a propeller? THAT IS ROAD RUNNER-LEVEL PHYSICS. They just don't make cartoons like that anymore.

—3—

I've been trying to figure out how to structure our summer now that my 9-year-old's three-hour gymnastics practice is right in the middle of the day, Monday through Thursday. It's an hour round-trip to his gym, so either I do it twice (too much driving) or abandon the other kids for 4 hours every afternoon (not why I became a stay-at-home mom.)

This week, we tried something different. I brought my other son with me and we hung out in the area for three hours doing stuff. I was wondering if we'd get bored, but I think it's going to be alright. The public library is impressive, especially for a small town. Their "library of things" has a ton of games, electronics, and other items. We came home with a few books on space, a puzzle, a giant Jenga game, and a murder mystery tabletop game.

The puzzle, by the way, is called "Dad Jokes," and we're about halfway done with it. 

After spending hours searching for the correct pieces, each corny joke is permanently seared into the kids' consciousness.

—4—

The big news this week is that we replaced our sliding door to the deck, plus two French doors that lead outside! 

The old sliding door had no handle and was so hard to open that only adults could do it; the French doors were sagging so badly that one set wouldn't open and the other had a gap the size of a golf ball in which we stuck a T-shirt to avoid heating the entire neighborhood or getting mice in the winter. Having new ones that just open and close effortlessly is wonderful!

A half dozen guys arrived and started hammering on the house at 8 AM, and the teenager slept right through it all and still had to be shaken awake at noon. I only wish I could sleep like that.

Picture taken from the window of the circus in my driveway.

Of course, getting work done on your house is kind of like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Now that we can easily use the deck again, we need to replace a few boards and put on a new coat of paint so we don't get splinters. And once the deck is nice enough to spend time on, we'll need some patio furniture out there to sit on. And then...

—5—

Exactly two days after replacing the doors (and wondering how in the world replacing three doors can cost ¹⁄₁₃th of the purchase price of our entire house), our washer and dryer simultaneously decided to give up the ghost.

The dryer has been slowly declining for a long time, and we miss it but at least it's not suffering anymore. The washer, however, went very suddenly and it was quite a shock. One minute it was chugging along just fine, and the next minute we were pulling out sopping wet clothes because the spin cycle stopped working.

I know it's a first-world problem, but not having a functioning washer and dryer in an 8-person household is stressful for even a few hours, letalone days. We may be searching for a new-to-us dryer, but not until Phillip will take apart the washing machine to see if he can keep it running for just a little longer. 

—6—

We have to do something about the mosquito situation in our backyard. Honestly it doesn't really bother me: I figure if I'm going outside into their home, the onus is on me to just wear bug spray, but Phillip says it drives him crazy and he'd like to figure out how to keep them away from the deck so we can enjoy being out there. 

I've seen candles, torches, chemical sprays, and so on, but I remain skeptical. I just had two people recommend a product that they swear by called mosquito dunks, and the reviews on Amazon were overwhelmingly positive, so we are going to give them a try. I'll let you know what I think in 2-4 weeks when they reach effectiveness.

Here's a related conversation between me and my 11-year-old son from this week:

11-year-old: Why can’t all the bugs and spiders just go extinct?!

Me: Well, the spiders eat the bugs so they’re actually good!

11-year-old: [looking at me and flatly] If all the bugs are extinct, there’s no need for the spiders.

Good point, I guess.

—7—

You know the "wet floor" sign you see in the store sometimes? Well, I spotted one this week in our hardware store but the illustration really made it look like a lot of fun.

Just like a waterslide! Weeeeee!

I think it's the jazz hands. Slipping and falling looks like such a great time and not at all something that will land you in the hospital.

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7 Quick Takes about Mice in America, Mission Calls, and Summer Struggles

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

What did you do on 4th of July? We were torn. The kids all have PTSD from last year when we had to wait for an hour and a half to get out of the parking garage after the fireworks show, so that was out. 

We were thinking about buying some fireworks for home use, but we didn't get our act together in time to make it happen. So what we did was grill hot dogs in the backyard, and then we voted on a 4th of July movie to watch. 

Of course there's Independence Day, but it's maybe a little too intense for my 9-year-old. So we ended up watching An American Tail.

I haven't seen it since I was a kid, and it was... interesting. Definitely not what I remembered. Every time we watch an 80s or 90s movie with the kids, the older ones look quizzically at Phillip and I like, "Is this why you are the way you are?" 

It's okay, their own kids will do it to them someday.

—2—

On Saturday we rented kayaks and a canoe, and went for a nice trip down the river. It was a beautiful day, and we kept seeing turtles sunning themselves on rocks and fallen logs near the banks on the way out. 

My view on the way back.

We rowed to a historic bridge about 35 minutes from us, then took a break on shore. The little ones played in the water and complained that we hadn't brought enough granola bars, and then we swapped boats (the ones in the kayaks switched to the canoe) and went back. 

It's been years since I've rowed a canoe and it's way harder than a kayak, by the way.

—3—

A little while ago, my 19-year-old daughter applied to serve an 18-month mission for our church, and this week she received her assignment. When you apply to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you could end up in Norway or Argentina or Michigan. Whatever the assignment, we believe it's made prayerfully by the worldwide leaders of the church, to someplace where the Lord needs you. And my daughter is going to... Nevada!

I'm so excited for her. She starts training virtually at home in mid-September, and will leave at the end of that month. 

As a missionary your sole focus is helping others (and yourself) come to Jesus Christ, which requires a lot of patience and consistency. You really do need to rely on inspiration to guide you every day. I was taught by missionaries as a teenager, and I'm so glad that they were willing to put the less-important parts of their lives on hold to focus on the most important one, and share it with me because it's the best part of my life today.

—4—

Wednesday was a very temple-y day. That morning I worked an 8-2 shift at the temple (after accidentally setting my alarm for PM instead of AM and oversleeping by 49 minutes, it was a literal miracle that I could get ready in seven minutes and still make it there in time). Afterward my daughter and I went to the distribution center to buy a few temple-related clothing items, went home for a quick bite to eat, then headed back to the temple so she could receive her endowment.

For those of you wondering "Why was she receiving a financial gift for a nonprofit organization, and why was she doing it at the temple?" it will probably help to know that the endowment is also the name for a temple ceremony in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints where you make promises with God that build on your baptismal promises. You do this as an adult, once you're ready to do so. (You can learn more in detail and see pictures in this video.) 

It was really special to be there with Phillip and our two oldest daughters. I've gone to the temple many times alone or with Phillip or my oldest daughter, but sitting in the celestial room with all of them and feeling like we were starting to collect our family members there made me feel extremely grateful for this blessing.

—5—

I'm the president of the teen girls' organization at church, and we're planning a retreat at the end of this month. I sat in on a planning meeting over Zoom this week with the other leaders (the meeting timed out and we had to log back in twice if that tells you how long it took) and I think we have a decent itinerary plotted out now.

The theme is "Reset and Recharge" and we're going to the lake house of one of the leaders for a few days. We'll have team building games, swimming, and S'mores. We'll talk about the question "How does your relationship with the Savior help you reset and recharge?" and if I'm able I will make a big fundraising thermometer (except it will be a battery) to mark up every time you witness a good deed being done. If we fill up the thermometer, we'll take the girls to get ice cream for the following week's activity.

—6—

I was talking with a friend about water and how hard it is to drink enough every day. She told me that she used to just sip water all day long, but then she was also peeing all day long which is annoying. (I can confirm; in the fall I did an 8-glasses-a-day challenge and going to the bathroom was my part-time job.) 

But instead of just shrugging and resigning herself to her fate, she looked it up and read that a bladder can hold two cups of water, so now she says she drinks two cups of water at a time and goes to the bathroom far less frequently.

Does this work? And if it did, would I be organized enough to do it? I'm actually trying it today, so we'll see.

—7—

I've been struggling this summer to find a rhythm, particularly because my 9-year-old's gymnastics practice requires two 1-hour roundtrip drives, smack in the middle of the day Mondays through Thursdays. And with everyone home all the time, I feel like I spend way more time nagging people to clean up after themselves than I would like and not much time actually planning or doing anything fun. 

I think I may need to outsource more, and have the kids take more ownership over meals, grocery shopping, rides, and planning outings. They're happy to do those things when I ask (most of the time,) but it still means that I have to be on top of things enough to ask. And as this summer is proving to me, I'm not.

What are your best tips for getting through the summer when you have older kids? I deeply regret complaining about anything when the kids were too little to have jobs and extracurricular activities and social lives.

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7 Quick Takes about Belated Anniversary Getaways, Ways Not To Ask For Permission to Jump Off a Bridge, and Becoming a Lettuce Salesman

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

I saw a meme that said "It's been a wild year this week," and that about sums it up.

Since last week's Quick Takes, I went on a 3-day trip with Phillip, was home for 1 day, and then left to supervise a church youth camp for another 4 days. 

I know that adds up to 8 days. I told you it was a long week. 

—2—

Phillip and I actually left on our trip last Thursday, and we definitely needed to get away. He's my best friend and my favorite person to spend time with, and being able to do that without having a thousand other responsibilities swirling around in my head was the best.

We went for walks, window shopped, ate good food, and explored the city. We woke up without an alarm, worked out together at the hotel gym, and binge-watched the first season of The Good Place. It was perfectly uneventful in the most wonderful way.

—3—

We ate at a lot of different places while we were out, but my favorite restaurant was space-themed. The food wasn't great (they burned both our entree and our dessert,) but the fun atmosphere made up for it. 

The purple and blue mocktails we ordered were cool-looking, and that was before we realized they also had glitter in them and swirled like crystal balls when stirred:

The bathrooms also had a lot of character:

To be honest, this sign gave me an irresistible urge to flush the toilet with my foot.

—4—

Was it hard to come back home? I'm not going to lie, yes it was. I was immediately stressed trying to pack for youth camp, orchestrate last-minute changes to the carpool, and make sure that plans were in place for some of our special needs campers before leaving.

Every summer, our local congregation joins with several others for a four-day camp for the teenage girls in the woods. This year there were 71 girls, and the schedule was packed with swimming, hiking, archery, a ropes course, games, crafts, classes, devotionals, meals, chores, and silly camp songs. It was great but incredibly draining. 

Seriously, I got home yesterday and after unpacking and throwing in a load of laundry, I spent the rest of the day lying in bed eating cheese and watching Pride and Prejudice.

—5—

Working with the teens at camp was fulfilling but I clearly am not getting paid enough for this (my current salary is zero dollars a year.) Temperatures hovered at 85° and there was no A/C in camp. I also got my period while I was there, adding constant long walks to the bathroom to my responsibilities of sorting out teenage girl feelings and not sleeping very much.

According to my fitness watch, it was possible to clock 10 miles by just walking around camp for a day.

It was terribly exhausting, but I was so happy and pleased with how it went. Many of the girls shared how impactful camp had been for them, and our special needs kids did awesome and were able to stay for the whole time. I guess that just like in life, most worthwhile things require hard work.

—6—

In the middle of cleaning the camp bathrooms with my campers one day, my phone buzzed with a text from my 17-year-old. It said "I'm going bridge jumping with [friend's name] right now". 

And that was it. No additional information, no answers to my follow-up questions, and no answer when I called him on the phone.

On one hand, that wasn't like him. We raised him to be the kind of kid to say, "Hey, my friend and I want to do ________. This is the location, let me tell you about what the conditions are like there. Here's why I believe it's safe, and this is my plan in case there's an emergency. Can I go?" Surely he wouldn't just send that text and go jump off a bridge.

On the other hand, teenagers still have lizard brains and lizards are stupid, so maybe he was about to go hit his head on a rock and die while I'm an hour away at camp. Should I panic? I panicked a little.

I couldn't get a hold of anyone on the phone, so ultimately I just had to pray my son was safe until he called an hour later and said, "Oh sorry, I forgot you weren't here. I already asked Dad, and he took us there yesterday to check it out. It's safe."

That would've been helpful context to know before I had a heart attack.

—7—

At the end of camp, the kitchen staff was trying to get rid of perishable food. I love free stuff, so when they said "We have three boxes of Romaine lettuce, would you like one?" I said "Sure!", not realizing they would give me not one bag of lettuce, but a full box containing twelve bags of it.

So I did what any lady over 40 who no longer feels embarrassment would do, and shamelessly hawked lettuce to everyone I saw for the next eighteen hours. 

I offered it to all the parents picking up their campers after we carpooled home, and when my college daughters had friends over that night I offered it to them, too. 

It's oddly freeing to be able to approach a group of 19-year-old girls and ask without feeling a single reservation, "Hey, can I do a weird mom thing? I have a ton of lettuce, do you want to take some home with you?"

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7 Quick Takes about Lessons in Pets, Backpack Cleanouts, and Fancy Cupcakes

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

My 19-year-old is dog sitting for a friend of ours. She goes over to their house several times a day to walk and play with Ginger, but I’m sure Ginger gets bored being there without her family so my daughter brought her over here for a couple of days to have some more company.

She’s the sweetest dog, and before long I was wondering if I should reconsider my strict “no pets who don’t live in a cage” policy. As time went on, though, Ginger eventually started testing the boundaries, trying to steal food off the counter or get into the trash.

I was kind of glad that the kids got a taste of dog ownership, and it’s not all laughter and tummy rubs. Sometimes it can be exasperating, too. After Ginger went home I asked the kids, "Did you notice how the more comfortable Ginger got here, the naughtier she got?"

"Kind of like us!" my son said. There was a moment of silence and he added, "I shouldn't have said that."

—2—

One thing that drives me crazy is the dreaded “toilet paper shelf.” If you have kids or possibly a husband, you know what I mean. Someone is too lazy to actually dispose of the empty cardboard roll, load a new roll onto the rod, and fit it back into the fixture, and instead just plonks a new roll up on top of the empty one and leaves the bathroom like a sociopath.

Today I went in the bathroom and noted with pleasant surprise that someone had changed the roll. Properly, all the way. 

But the old cardboard roll in the trash can still had a foot of toilet paper on it, which was wasteful and kind of perplexing. It meant that whoever changed the roll could have just used the perfectly good paper that they threw away instead.

I wasn’t sure whether to be upset or happy, so I settled for both and didn’t say anything to anyone.

—3—

I was back asking ChatGPT about time management and logistics again. It gave me some ridiculous sample schedule for my day, so I explained that I usually have to make 6-10 kid pickups or drop offs per day, with each ride lasting anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour, and I don’t get to pick convenient times for any of my kids’ shifts at work, their sports practices, or their best friend’s birthday party. I can’t schedule “craft time” from 10-12 or whatever nonsense it thinks I can do. 

ChatGPT responded: “Thank you, that’s a huge piece of context. You’re not a typical stay-at-home mom; you’re more like a logistics coordinator for a small company that also happens to live in your house.”

Okay, but that’s totally what a stay-at-home mom is. What’s a “typical” stay-at-home mom, ChatGPT? One who spends all day eating bon-bons and watching “90-Day Fiancé”?

—4—

Phillip wants to run a mile in under 5 minutes and he’s been working at it for a while, but is starting to wonder if it’s even possible to do for the first time at 44 years old. So I Googled it, and pulled up a Reddit thread that asked “Am I too old to break a sub-5 mile?”

I scanned the thread and saw lots of guys going on about running-related things that didn’t answer the question, criticizing the OP’s question, other guys coming to his defense, and then more guys attacking the guys who defended him, and guys pointing out small technicalities in other answers they disagreed with.

“What is this?” I asked. “I usually find really helpful answers on Reddit.”

“That’s because it’s all men on this thread,” Phillip said.

“So, this is what happens when you have a bunch of men all mansplaining to each other?”

“Yes! We don’t do that because we think women are stupid, we do that because we think everyone’s stupid.”

That makes sense.

—5—

Usually this happens on the literal first day of summer vacation, but I waited until now to make my kids clean out their backpacks (I’m trying to be a cool mom, not a regular mom, by being chill about their school crap needlessly cluttering up the entryway). 

My 3rd grader pulled some papers out of his folder and said, “This is for a story. I never wrote it but I think I want to write it this summer.”

In case the mustache doesn't give it away, this is the bad guy. And here is his character profile for help writing the story:

Name: Moneyman   Personality: Mean   Like: Robbing Banks   Dislikes: Meat

In particular I want to see how not liking meat is so foundational to his character that it's literally 25% of his personality. Seriously, I've read YA book jackets that didn't get me as interested in the story as this.

—6—

My 13-year-old would make us dessert for after every meal if she could, but I won’t let her, so she settles for making the Family Home Evening treat every week. Family Home Evening is like a weekly family devotional, with a spiritual thought/activity and a treat afterward. This week she asked if she could make cupcakes and I told her sure, but we didn’t have a lesson yet.

“That’s not my specialty,” she shrugged, and went on to make these:

Just your average Monday night cupcakes, nothing special.

She also made cookies for our new next door neighbors. We had to go over there three times before we actually caught them at home to deliver them, we thought we were going to have to just eat the cookies ourselves and make a second batch to try again. Actually, my daughter would have loved that.

—7—

Phillip and I are planning a short belated anniversary trip. We’re designating each of the older kids to be in charge at home for one day, making sure everyone gets food and rides.

"When are you coming back?" My 19-year-old asked us. "Or are you?"

I shrugged. "We planned on being gone for 3 days, but on the last day how about you send me a picture of the state of the kitchen? Put that day's newspaper on the counter so we know it’s current. We'll decide based on the photo."

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7 Quick Takes about Being Waldo, Homeless Bags, and How Kielbasa Is Saving Our Summer

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

I lead the teenagers at church, and we do weekly activities. We can do anything that interests the girls, really, so we do all kinds of stuff. This week we had a Real Life Where's Waldo activity, and it was so fun.

I got the idea here and the girls thought it sounded like fun. So all the youth group leaders put on disguises and headed to the grocery store where the girls split up into teams and searched for us. 

As I snuck out of the house in my wig and glasses (I didn't want to spoil it for my own teenager if she saw me first) I heard my 11-year-old asking, "Who was that?"

Pretending to shop in the store and hearing the girls scampering around behind us, recognizing their individual voices as they whispered excitedly to each other "How many Waldos are here?" and "Where do you think they are?" was so much fun. They had a really good time, too.

—2—

When I got home, of course all the kids wanted to try on my borrowed wig. When it was my 9-year-old son's turn, he yelled "Hair flip!" and tossed his head to the side like he was trying to get the hair to sweep over his shoulder like girls do.

But it didn't work.

"Hair flip!" he tried again, but he was still unsuccessful. The hair stayed where it was.

Frustrated, he turned to me and demanded, "How do y'all do this?!"

—3—

This week was end-of-school year everything. I helped a friend with her daughter's graduation party, and attended a graduation "clap-off" for my 5th grader.

While we were there, this guy's shirt caught my eye:

First, I love this shirt. Second, I didn't get too close to the woman in the white skirt, just in case.

Today is Phillip's and my anniversary, and I joked that I was going to get him this shirt. He squinted his eyes at the blurry picture and read, "'I love mentally unstable women.' Hey, that's perfect! I've got four of them!" I'm sure that our three daughters would be thrilled to know that they're included, as well.

—4—

Our traditional Father's Day gift is deep cleaning Phillip's car. We vacuum the floors, scrub the seats, wash both sides of the windows, dust the dashboard, and hose off the outside of the car. The car desperately needed all of these things.

Made sense for the younger two to clean the backseat, since they made most of the mess back there.

The 13-year-old was in charge of taking out random pens, water bottles, and other odds and ends that had accumulated in the car. Holding up a big Ziploc bag filled with toiletries and snacks (pictured on top of the car in the picture) she asked, "What's this?"

"That stays in the car," I said. "It's a homeless bag."

At a church activity a few weeks ago, my boys assembled homeless bags to give out to people on the corner asking for help. But apparently that wasn't clear from my answer, because she just said, "Sooo... you're kicking Dad out?"

—5—

Now that we're officially on summer vacation, it's a new kind of crazy. I'm excited that I no longer have to wake kids up for school, but having them home full-time brings its own set of challenges. The calculus involved in sharing 3 vehicles among 8 people becomes more difficult. I spend more time with the kids so my to-do list gets longer every day as things keep getting pushed to tomorrow. And the house is never, ever clean.

I need things in my life that are easy, which is why it's perfect that I came across this wonderful sheet pan meal. I'm obsessed with it and we eat it once a week.

I'm not a food photographer, but trust me, it's delicious. (It's way prettier if you use baby red potatoes but this is what we had in the house.)

—6—

I'm currently watching the Pride and Prejudice BBC miniseries, and I just don't agree with the way they portrayed Mr. Darcy. They "did him dirty," as the kids would say. Why did they make him be so awkward for the first three episodes? 

Nobody in the novel was like, "What misfortune that Darcy should be at this party, he's so peculiar!" He just thought he was too good for everyone and everything and it showed. People thought he was a snob, not a weirdo. 

I think the problem is that the miniseries took out most of Darcy's lines of dialogue, so all that's left for Colin Firth to do is stare with an inappropriate intensity at Elizabeth whenever she's in the room. I know it's supposed to be a smoldering gaze but all I can think of is that scene in Twilight where Bella walks into the classroom and Edward leers at her like he's going to either take off like a rocket ship or vomit:

I'm sorry I just compared Pride and Prejudice to Twilight. I didn't mean it, honest. I guess I just really prefer the novel to the screen adaptation. (Also, I kept watching and discovered that Mr. Darcy suddenly becomes more normal in the fourth episode so there's that.)

—7—

Having all three of my older kids work at the same place is amazing. Already this summer, there have been so many times when one has a conflict so they just talk among themselves and trade shifts, share the car for rides, or brings the other their forgotten glasses/wallet/Chapstick when they come in later that day. Sometimes Sibling A works in the morning, and when Sibling B drives there in the afternoon they just hand off the keys and it comes home with Sibling A 30 minutes later. It's great. Also, it's the only way this car-sharing scheme can work for a whole summer. Wish us luck.

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7 Quick Takes about How We're All Housecats, Parking Lot Naps, and Daily Schedules I Won't Be Using

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

This summer, my parents want to fly our kids out to stay with them for 9 days. They've done it before with just the older ones, but this time they're taking all of them.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

It means that Phillip and I will be alone in the house for over a week. No school pickups or soccer dropoffs or rides to a friend's house. No worrying about anyone except ourselves for over a week. We are still trying to wrap our heads around this information.

"What do you want to do while the kids are gone?" Phillip keeps asking me. And I tell him I don't know. We are indoor cats that have escaped outside: we don't know what to do with our newfound freedom and will probably end up just hiding under the porch until someone comes to get us.

—2—

I've more or less adjusted to the 50-minute round trip it takes to drop my son off at his new gymnastics gym, but sometimes it's a hard drive to make when I'm sleepy. I get the same highway hypnosis as when we're on a road trip.

One day this week I got so tired on the drive there, that I dropped him off and then pulled into the parking lot to take a nap in the van. 

Unfortunately, I only slept for 10 minutes before the pediatrician's office called to make an appointment for one of the kids.

—3—

Our 13-year-old daughter realized that next year her older brother will be graduating, and then she'll be the oldest in the house. They do a lot of goofing around, watching Marvel movies, and other teenage shenanigans I probably don't want to know about.

"It's going to be so boring!" she wailed. 

I pointed out "You've still got two younger brothers, you know, and they do grow up. Like, your older brother thought he'd be bored when the girls left for college, but now you're older and he hangs out with you. By the time he leaves, your younger brother will be older and then the two of you will hang out."

From the other room, the younger brother called out, "Yuck!"

Like I said, there's still some maturing to be done.

—4—

The other evening Phillip and I grabbed the 9- and 11-year-olds and took them on a slightly more successful fishing trip. 

One son caught two fish, and the other reeled in a fish but it escaped from his line as he was being pulled out of the water. Somehow I broke the reel of the fishing pole Phillip has had since he was 15, though. I wasn't even fishing, he just handed it to me to hold for a second while his hands were full.

—5—

ChatGPT is great for some things, but I'm finding that it's not as great for others. I recently watched a TED talk about time management that I couldn't quite figure out how to apply to my own life, so I talked it over with ChatGPT, fed it my to-do list, and asked it to make me a schedule. 

It came up with something that had me waking up at 6AM, didn't account for meals, and shrunk tasks to the time available regardless of whether it was realistic.

At the same time, Phillip was asking ChatGPT to help him design a training plan to reach his current running goal. On the first day, he practically collapsed and died trying to follow its instructions, which is exactly what would've happened to me if I'd tried to follow the to-do schedule it gave me.

I guess if you ask ChatGPT to do something, it will find a way to do it, whether it makes sense or not. Once, our daughter asked it "How many P's are in the word 'mayonnaise'?" and it kept telling her random numbers. It would only say there weren't any if she asked "Are there any P's in the word 'mayonnaise'?"

—6—

We've gotten a family gym membership for the summer, but it's not turning out to be anything like we thought it would be. 

When we signed up for the membership, we had two kids in mind who we thought would particularly love it. As it turns out, those two kids only go when we plant the idea inception-like in their minds earlier in the day. 

Meanwhile, another of our kids has surprised us by loving it so much that they go 6 days a week on their own volition and will bike there if there's not a car available. The staff all recognizes this child and just waves them in like a celebrity without asking for their membership information. 

Parenting is always a surprise, no matter how well you think you know your kids.

—7—

This has been quite a week. End-of-year everything has been happening. Recitals. Field trips. Finals. Graduation parties. Class teacher gifts. I helped spearhead a youth fundraiser at church to raise money for camp. We got our piano tuned and I had lunch with an old friend who's in town for a few days. 

Next week the kids are finally done with all of it, and then we will begin a different kind of crazy when everyone is home all the time and leaving their dirty dishes everywhere. Wish me luck!

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7 Quick Takes about a Permanent Case of the Flu, Tricking the Cats and Dogs, and Asking ChatGPT to Talk Down to You

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

All I've done this week is be sick. It sucks. The flu I thought I was over last week? That was false spring. 

I'm still hacking phlegm out of my throat most of the day, and I think I woke up with pinkeye this morning.

My husband, checking up on me from work.

I get about 5% better every day, but at this rate I'm going to be sick until July.

—2—

I just learned that woodpeckers have long tongues that wrap completely around their brain to protect it while they're hammering away at trees all day. 

Call me crazy, but I'm jealous. I've had a headache all week just from coughing so much. Do you know how much I could have used a built-in shock absorber?

—3—

I feel like I missed an opportunity by not writing down all the weird ways my kids have described various ailments and injuries for me to interpret over the years. 

One of my kids got hit in the throat with a lacrosse ball at school this week and when they got home and I asked how it was, they said, "My throat feels sparkly." I don't know what to do with that.

—4—

A friend who doesn't have a car right now found a mass on her cat, so she asked if I would give them a ride to the vet. The ride was short and I wore a mask, so hopefully she and her cat don't get the plague.

At the vet's office, attached to the ramp leading to the front door was a banner covered in smiling pets that said "this way for treats!" 

If Mittens were smart, she'd take one look at the banner and be like "Nope, this is 100% Hansel and Gretel. Turn the car around."

I thought for a split-second that it was funny they were luring the pets in with treats, but then I started laughing because pets can't read. Maybe they're trying to trick the owners?

—5—

Due to sleeping like garbage all week because I was sick, I finished the last several hours of my audiobook sleepytime reading of Pride and Prejudice, and loved it.

Now I'm looking for the best movie or TV adaptation to watch, and it seems like it comes down to the 1995 BBC series or the 2005 movie with Keira Knightly. 

It seems like the BBC series is the most faithful to the novel and the time period, but it's long. The movie is pretty with a lovely score and cinematography, but some of the things that made the novel great were lost while trying to make it palatable for a 21st century audience. (In the words of one person on Reddit, it was "okay, but Keira Knightly has the face of someone who knows what a cell phone is.")

So... I guess I'll just have to watch both.

—6—

I finally got my new mouthguard for nighttime teeth clenching, and it's amazing. I've scraped by with over-the-counter guards for years, not wanting to spend the money for a dentist-made custom one (which my insurance doesn't cover, by the way), but the OTC ones weren't cutting it anymore.

I decided to gamble on a mail-in custom guard that is a quarter of the price and had a money-back guarantee. It's been two nights and I can tell that it really helps, and it's way more comfortable than anything else I've ever used.

—7—

We're almost finished with school here. My 7th grader says she has good grades except for one okayish grade in math. She explained that she has a hard time with the format of some of the quizzes and the teacher's explanations aren't helping.

"I'm not the right person to ask, but your dad and your older sister are both great at explaining math," I said. "Or, if they're not around you can also ask ChatGPT. And then ask followup questions about what it says."

"Like, 'I'm pretty stupid, can you explain it dumber?'" She asked.

Yes, actually. In fact, I often start learning about something new by asking ChatGPT to explain it to me like I'm 5, and then go from there.

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