7 Quick Takes about One Last Hike, Ordering a Giant Pizza, and Sounds to Wake Up To

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

After a week of online training at home, our 19-year-old daughter left for the Missionary Training Center. I'm really missing the sweet spirit she brought to the whole house, especially after she really put her life on hold to make Jesus her full-time focus. On her breaks between Zoom classes, she'd tell me about what she was learning or the things she'd been thinking during her morning scripture study, and it was really neat for me to be a part of that.

As great as it was, though, Zoom is still Zoom, and she's really enjoying being at the MTC campus where she can see her teachers and fellow missionaries in person instead of a bunch of digital squares with floating heads.

—2—

I've never cried at a college drop off; I think it's a little dramatic when I'll literally see them again in a few months. But sending one off on a mission feels more final: she's not going to be back for a year and a half! 

The life of a missionary is really busy and focused, but she does have one day a week to do her personal stuff like calling home. And guess what? I missed her call this week. I wasn't even doing anything fun, I was organizing junk in the attic and left my phone downstairs.

It was irritating, but we did just drop her off at the airport on Tuesday so it's not like it's the end of the world. I guess we'll have to establish a time frame so I don't continue to flake out for the next 18 months. Because that would be just like me.

—3—

On her last week here, our daughter wanted to do "last" things with the family before leaving. We played some family board games, went to one of the kids' soccer games, and went on a family hike/walk in the woods. 

Phillip in particular was happy she wanted to go to the woods. We've been making the kids go on family nature hikes since we were carrying them around the trail in backpacks. Half the time they complain about it bitterly, but in the end they always seem to remember it fondly and appreciate it just as they're about to leave home.

"I did that," Phillip pointed out to me as we were walking behind these three clearly enjoying being in nature. He sure did, because I wasn't a hiker before I met him and he was the driving force in fostering this.

Granted, the 19-year-old is going to Nevada on her mission where I assume she won't being seeing forest like this for a while so she probably wanted to soak it up while she still could.

—4—

I've been working on the wall behind the couch. Our old wall clock somehow felt too small and too big at the same time (too small for the wall, but with a chunky and overbearing frame.) So I found one on Amazon that was bigger in inches and lighter in looks:

It was delivered in this box and I know you don't tip Amazon drivers, but I kind of felt like I should when he handed me what looked like a 30" pizza. 

—5—

Next step, I'm going to attempt to add a little color and life to the walls by hanging plants in these wall planters on either side of the clock. 

I found some nice-looking pothos plants on Facebook Marketplace, but after I brought them home I realized I'm likely going to kill them while trying to transplant them into the wall planters and I will have wasted $20.

I've gotten lucky at not killing plants lately and it's gone to my head, but I really don't have a green thumb at all and this was probably beyond my skill set.

—6—

A few years ago, I started listening to sleep meditations on YouTube at night when I need help winding down (or sometimes in the middle of the night when I wake up and can't get back to sleep.)

I like Jason Stephenson, but then I started feeling the need for more variety and occasionally started listening to Down to Sleep and the Spanish-language channels Zentopía and Easy Zen.

Most recently, I found an Irish guy named Stephen Dalton. It seems like he gets an idea for a new story series and writes a bunch of them. Right now I'm working my way through his "most boring" series. They're so boring I don't really remember what they're about, though. 

I've actually tried out other channels that I liked at first, but after getting scared awake at 2AM with a Pampers ad at full blast I changed my mind.

—7—

Recently, the Facebook algorithm randomly showed me this:

I may have recorded this one and set it as my morning alarm, and also set the same artist's good night song as a nighttime alarm to remind me to go to bed.

When Phillip heard my bedtime alarm going off he asked, "Did you write that with AI?" I don't know. Did the guy use AI to write it? Now that I think about it, it sounds he could have. Maybe the whole video is AI and there is no guy. Maybe nothing is real and we're all living in a simulation. Who knows? But I like the song so we're just going to leave it at that.

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7 Quick Takes about How to Confuse a Bird (It's Not Hard), Missionaries in Training, and Feline Photography

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

I had an idea for a new living room layout, so I spent about 4 hours one morning measuring everything, making a mockup of the room on the computer, then testing it out by moving the real-life furniture around a bunch of times... and in the end it all went back to where it was to begin with, except we swapped locations of the birdcage and the bookshelf.

I was a little irritated, but not as much as Pringles (the bird). When she flies out of her cage now, she gets disoriented and can't find her way back. She keeps flying to the bookshelf, getting confused at why it's not a birdcage, and then just sitting there squawking for help until someone picks her up and carries her back to her cage.

It's been almost a week and she's still confused. I totally understand now why they call dumb people birdbrains.

To be fair, though, for the first days after the change, the kids were also walking to the birdcage to get a book before self-correcting and saying "Oops, I pulled a Pringles."

—2—

I also redid this corner of the living room. Here's the 'before' picture.

Jesus on the right, a church statement on the importance of the family on the left.

It's always been important to me to have a picture of Jesus on the wall, but I've never been crazy about His "I'm not mad, just disappointed" look in that particular picture. Over the years I've thought about buying this one painted by the same artist with a slightly different facial expression, but the cheapskate in me couldn't pay $25 plus shipping for a nearly-identical picture where the corner of the lips turn upward instead of downward. 

So I did some research, bought this digital art print from Etsy, and got it printed out at Walmart. They don't print 10x13s, so I printed it as a 11x14 poster and trimmed it down. Then I printed out "The Living Christ", a more recent church statement on what we believe about Jesus, and put that beside it. (That wasn't as easy as it sounds, since the PDFs I found weren't high enough resolution so I had to copy down the words and format it all myself.)

Then I realized that everything was beige and brown: the wall, the decor, the frames, the cabinet. The new corner could use some color, so I went to Lowe's and got a plant. It's an ivy, so assuming I don't kill it, it will eventually trail down the side of the cabinet and look really nice.

Tip: Take the 'before' picture at night and the 'after' picture in the daylight and it will look like you did more to spruce it up than you actually did!

—3—

Now I've turned my attention to our other "all beige problem" in the living room. The sofa is beige and the wall behind it is also a giant expanse of beige, with a poorly-placed wall clock that is too small for the area it covers. I need some color to break up all the beige, but as a minimalist I don't want to hang art (there are already focal points on the other walls) or use throw pillows (they will just end up on the floor). So maybe a lamp with a colored shade?

I uploaded a picture to ChatGPT and asked it to add a floor lamp and an end table. It put the end table in the middle of the room and the lamp in the doorway to the kitchen... I think I need an AI that is at least more familiar than me with the principles of home design, because even I know that's not where you put a lamp.

Anyway, the living room is in progress and I have some ideas. I'll keep you updated.

—4—

Our 19-year-old is now a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! This week she started online classes from the Missionary Training Center (MTC). Next week she'll go to a physical MTC campus for another two weeks, and then she'll head to Nevada where she'll be sharing the gospel with whoever will listen for the next 16 months.

She's always been a really good kid, but since she's been thinking about and preparing for a mission in earnest there's been a noticeable change in her. Quadrupling the amount of time you spend studying the scriptures each day and eliminating scrolling social media would probably change anyone for the better, but it's more than that.

She's focused and excited. The promises in the scriptures are becoming very real to her, because she's going to be trusting God to help her do very hard things, like talk to strangers from Nevada who might not care what she has to say and might not even be very nice about it. She just wants to become someone the Lord can work with; she's willingly handing over her K-dramas and hanging out with her friends for the next 18 months to focus on what He can accomplish through her, and I'm thrilled for her.

This week she's busy with Zoom classes and meetings for most of the day, but she does come out every once in a while to warn us that she may have to unmute and say something. (Now that she's a kind-hearted missionary, the "so stop acting and sounding like a zoo out here" part is implied rather than spoken out loud.) 

—5—

The 13-year-old just participated in a cross-country relay race. Because of the other kids' sports schedules I wasn't able to go, but I seriously wish I could have. 

It wasn't a normal relay. You could wear any uniform you wanted (and I mean any uniform, there were people in tutus and inflatable T-rex costumes running this thing) and use anything for a baton (my daughter's team used a Birkenstock.)

This was the first year our school participated in this particular relay, but I hope they do it again next year because it sounds like a sight to see. There's something for everyone here, even if you don't usually enjoy watching people run.

—6—

When we got home from a camping trip a few weeks ago, it was an extremely hectic time and there were about fifty Very Important Things happening over the next few days that required our full attention. At one point Phillip told me "I put all the camping stuff up in the loft" and I remember sincerely thanking him, because neither of us really had the time or bandwidth to put it all away. 

Well, this week I went up in the loft to get something, and saw the camping stuff lying all over the place as if he'd flung it all up there with a trebuchet and left it exactly as it fell. Nothing was where it was supposed to be.

THANK YOU REDACTED.

(Phillip swears he was planning on going up there to organize it at a later date, I just beat him to it. I'm 90% sure he's telling the truth, so thank you partially reinstated.)

—7—

My friend Anna is out of town visiting her sister, so I'm going over to her house every day to feed her cat. The cat is her baby, so I try to send pictures or videos every few days because she misses her.

Do you know how hard it is to get a non-blurry picture of a cat??

They're worse than kids. They never stop moving, ever!

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7 Quick Takes about Not Speaking Korean, Meditations on Running, and Soda Cans I Wish I Never Saw

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

I watched my first K-drama. My 19-year-old got into them while away at college and I asked her to show me her favorite. I went into it expecting a Mexican telenovela since that's my only frame of reference when it comes to foreign dramas, but so far I'm two episodes in to 킹더랜드 (King the Land) and really enjoying the sitcom meets rom-com feel, but cleaner.

I watch Spanish language media without subtitles all the time and I get at least most of what's going on, so my brain kept telling me "Okay, we're in a foreign language now so you should definitely understand the words in this K-drama."  My eyes kept drifting away from the subtitles and then I would have this moment of confusion at why I couldn't follow the plot. 

Actually, I did understand a few words because of our week studying South Korea last summer. But if a K-drama plot involves anything other than people introducing themselves or thanking each other, I'm lost.

—2—

My dad's dog recently passed away, so my kids started thinking about what happens after you die. Not the metaphysical part, just about the immediate logistics. At dinner, they were asking me questions about how cremation or embalming/burial works, and then my 13-year-old said to me, "What do you want after you die?"

I told them that if they bury me, skip the expense of a fancy casket and bury me in a plot designated for natural burials (no chemicals or materials that don't decompose are allowed in the ground.) And if they cremate me, I guess I'd want each of the kids to take some of my ashes to keep or sprinkle somewhere they like to think about me.

"I'll sprinkle you in the van," the 13-year-old said. "That's the place I see you the most."

—3—

At the high school, seniors can buy a parking space and paint it if they want. I thought this parking spot was next level.

—4—

I was thinking about something as I was on a run this week: I don't aspire to run a race of any length, ever. I don't even like it when people say "good morning" to me when I run past them on the street, I certainly don't want to make it a social activity.

Even though I run 2.5 miles two to three times a week, I don't consider myself a runner. I don't even particularly like or dislike running. It's kind of like brushing my teeth. It feels good to have done it, but I have no desire to elevate it to hobby status.

—5—

Are we about done with kids droning "6,7"? Watch this if you need an explanation for what that means, I'm too sick of hearing it to talk about it.

My 9-year-old tells me that there's a rule at his gym that anyone who says "6, 7" has to climb the rope.

And I'm in favor of that. I may just install a rope in my two-story living room for that very purpose if it works!

—6—

I went to a restaurant for lunch this week at a correctional facility. The restaurant is only open for an hour in the afternoon as part of a work rehabilitation program where the inmates cook and wait tables. 

Lunch only costs a few dollars, if you don't mind the dress code (no jewelry, hoodies, purses, or phones) or having security hold onto your ID while you eat, just in case.

I went there for my friend's birthday lunch, and I simply love that this was her request of restaurant.

—7—

You know the social media engagement post "Tell me you're a _______ without telling me you're a _______"? I've got one for you.

Q: Tell me you're a child without telling me you're a child.

A: You think the arm of the sofa is a coaster.

Sadly, this is a real, 100% unstaged photo.

It was really confusing when I confronted the guilty child, because their defense was "It was empty!" As if my rational response would be "Well, why didn't you say so? My mistake, that is the place to leave your garbage!"

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7 Quick Takes about Dubious Reasons to Celebrate, Getting Kids to Do Chores, and the "Fake It To Make It" Approach to Photography

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

You remember how I keep saying that my 13-year-old will use any excuse to make dessert?

This is what "running out of special occasions" looks like.

It's getting ridiculous. 

—2—

I started using a new free app called Tody to keep track of the household chores for the kids. For the past few years I've been using Google Tasks and it worked okay but there were a few limitations that made it annoying, but so far Tody is awesome.

It gamifies cleaning by making it a competition against a dustball named Dusty. The kids can see at a glance which rooms of the house are dirtiest and they earn points by checking off overdue chores. 

Screenshot from this morning.

There are even surprise challenges to motivate them to do extra cleaning. On the second day, it asked my 13-year-old, "Do you accept the Kitchen Battle? Do 3 chores in 15 minutes for extra points!" I just watched in stunned silence as she recruited her siblings, clicked 'accept,' and then they all cleaned like crazy to beat the 15-minute timer that popped up. I know the novelty will wear off sooner or later, but... that was the coolest thing I've ever seen.

—3—

I was at the GI with one of my children, following up on a digestive issue they were having. Things have improved since the last time we were there, and the gastroenterologist ultimately gave my child a clean bill of health. In true GI form, she waved us off by saying "Happy pooping!"

"Do you think anyone else will say that to you today?" I asked as I drove my child back to school.

"I hope not," they said.

—4—

One morning I was struggling to gather motivation for my morning workout, so I decided to scroll Facebook for a dopamine infusion. I had probably spent too much time on there already when I came across this meme:

I feel personally called out by this.

Okay, first of all, I didn't know that #4 was common enough to make it into a meme about midlife.

Second of all, it made me stop scrolling and go eat some eggs so I could do my strength training already.

—5—

The family went on another beautiful hike. We've been to this spot before, but took a slightly different route and the algae in the water was brighter and greener than before. 

I've been wondering how to get a few quick, cheap senior photos of my 17-year-old, and it was here that I got the idea to take them myself because I achieved one nice picture on this trip, even though I have no specialized equipment or photography knowledge. Wish me luck. 

—6—

These are the stickers at my kids' dental office that you can take as you leave. I love that someone took the time to categorize and label them, and even more I love that these are the 4 categories they chose:

Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor.

I noticed that the "random" bin is the least full, so everyone seems to be taking from there. It just sounds more fun.

—7—

I did join up with my family for the second half of their camping trip at the beach. I'm still getting used to the idea of camping at a teeny tiny site just a walk from the ocean, as we've always camped at more remote sites in the woods before. But the kids certainly had a good time.

Don't be fooled: by the end of August the ocean is frigid.

I heard one of them trying to convince their dad to get in the water by saying, "It's fine! Once you get in your whole body goes numb so it doesn't even feel cold!" They weren't really selling it, in my opinion.

I thought it was funny how this seagull was guarding this sandcastle:

Three other families from church were camping at nearby sites, so there were plenty of kids running around and playing together the entire time. It was a nice end to the summer and now we're back to school and everyone is starting sports and lessons. Time is crazy like that!

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7 Quick Takes about New Budgeting Categories, Not Being Like the Other Girls, and Fun Things That Happen in Your Forties

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

My 21-year-old has pretty significant ADHD, but looking at the organized budget spreadsheet she uses, you'd never know it. During her freshman year of college, my husband and I helped her add up how much she needs to earn over the summer to cover school costs and put it in a basic Excel sheet, but since then she's really upgraded it on her own and was showing me some of her improvements.

For one thing, she made it so that when she adds new paychecks, it automatically tells her in percentage form how close she is to her goal amount, and the columns automatically go green or red depending on their status.

She's also added a variety of new columns to cover unexpected income (like scholarships) or unexpected expenses (like a column labeled 'ADHD Tax.')

"What's that column for?" I asked her.

"Oh, that's my stupidity allowance for the year," she said. "You know, like late fees and lost item fees."

That's one of the most brilliant ADHD management tricks I've ever heard.

—2—

I was having a conversation with my 21- and 19-year-old daughters about different girl stereotypes in media after watching a movie together. Specifically, we were discussing the "not like the other girls" trope (you know, the female character who eschews traditionally feminine interests, making her superior to the rest of her vapid gender who likes stupid things).

They were explaining to me the various subtypes of "not like the other girls," like the "pick me girl" and the "manic pixie dreamgirl."

Later in the day, I was on the road and the car next to me had a pink bumper sticker that said "I'm not like the other girls... I'm worse" with a rabid possum on it. I had a good laugh and texted my girls about it after I got to my destination. One of them texted back: "That's another subcategory."

—3—

School has now started for my youngest four kids. On the first day, one was sick, two forgot their lunches, and Phillip got flipped off in the middle school dropoff line.

So I'd say this year is off to an amazing start.

—4—

Our oldest daughter went back to college. Her last day here was particularly emotional and logistically complicated, as we were simultaneously getting through the first week of school for the youngers, helping the college daughter pack up and leave, and also prepping for a family camping trip with what was left of the family (minus the 19-year-old, who'd already made plans to go visit a friend for the weekend.) 

In fact, my husband literally dropped the 21-year-old off at the airport on the way to the campground with four of the other kids. The plan was for me to come up later with the 13-year-old after she finished cross-country practice, but by that time I'd really and truly hit the wall of  Things I Can Handle so I dropped her off at the campground and came home for the night by myself to decompress. 

—5—

My hope is to go re-join them at the campground later today, when hopefully I can be happier and a little more fun to be around. Recently, I have not been very fun to be around. I've actually been watching myself with curiosity and noticing changes to my personality that I don't really like (and I'm sure no one else does, either.) 

Small annoyances send me over the edge almost instantly, and I've been snapping at Phillip or having uncharacteristic temper tantrums over being late or other small inconveniences. I have trouble controlling my irritation and letting things go without comment, which is usually unnecessary and sometimes embarrassing, but I can't help it. 

I feel like I'm okay just plodding along doing my own thing with my head down, but I will snap the instant something goes wrong or someone needs something from me. Am I physically tired? Yes, but no more than usual. Am I overwhelmed? Yes, but again no more than usual. It just feels different and I don't know why.

—6—

I was recently Googling my intense irritability, trying to figure out what's going on with me at age 43 (am I having a midlife crisis? do I need therapy? should I abandon society to go live alone like the swamp hag I'm becoming?) and then the word 'perimenopause' popped out at me. Since I'm not experiencing the hot flashes and night sweats of perimenopause yet, I didn't even connect the dots, but suddenly I had this aha moment. 

Perimenopause symptoms include shorter cycles (check, for the last year) and also heavier periods (ugh, this week I declined a short hike with my family it was too far from a bathroom) and it's all starting to make sense now. 

So I'm basically going through second puberty, and it turns out I forgot what it feels like when your hormones make you hate everything and everyone around you. 

—7—

Of course I will still try to laugh about this stage of life. Someone who's great about doing that is the Holderness Family, who I really appreciate for it:

And I love the Merlin app.

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7 Quick Takes about Test Driving the Empty Nest, Six months of Home Improvements in a Week, and Counting to a Million

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

Well, the verdict is in on our week of being empty nesters while all the kids were with their grandparents: I don't know.

The pros:

• House stays super-clean
• Conversations with husband can go beyond the logistics of giving rides to people, date nights don't have to be planned 2 months in advance
• Tons of time and energy to pour into home improvement projects
• No need to go around turning off lights all the time

Cons:

• Lacks structure (no one even knows if you eat nachos for dinner at 9 PM two nights in a row)
• Fruit goes bad when you don't know how to shop for two
• House is too quiet (not a good quiet, I mean quiet like a morgue)
• Phillip and I aren't social at all, but we're going to have to make couple friends when we become empty nesters for real

Overall, I enjoyed the extra time to work on projects and disliked the eerie absence of chaos and activity of kid life humming in the background. And weirdly enough, when Phillip and I suddenly had more uninterrupted time to spend together than we knew what to do with, the urgency to make every moment count slipped away. I'm not sure I liked that, either. 

—2—

Now to the projects we did while everyone was gone. First, Phillip got rid of the old washer and dryer in the garage. 

He harvested the usable parts for future repairs to our new washer and dryer, and then he disassembled them completely and loaded them up in the van. Because it costs $25 per appliance to recycle them at the dump but they accept scrap metal for free. So.

And that's how you dispose of a washer and dryer for $0.

In addition to all the money we saved by scrapping 90% of the washer and dryer (there was just a smallish pile of plastic components left), Phillip also found $1.23 in change while taking them apart.

—3—

We've also been working on our outside living spaces. I've been silently toying with the idea of a porch swing for a while, but recently the 11-year-old mentioned out of the blue how nice it would be to have a porch swing to read in and we decided it would be fun to surprise him with one when he got back.

We found a porch swing on the smaller side that fits (but barely, so no being too crazy on the swing), threw away our crusty door mat and replaced it with this one, and got some new pillows for the swing. Once we paint the door blue and redo the decking (next up on my list), it's going to look amazing.

Ignore the Victorian grandma sidelights next to the door. We do.

I love this so much more than I thought I would. My favorite part is the pillows on the porch swing, which surprises me, because I normally think throw pillows are like scented candles: pointless. When we buy furniture that comes with throw pillows, I literally throw them away. But I don't know, I just love something about the pattern, and I searched long and hard for pillow forms that are puffy like marshmallows and not like the thin, flimsy ones I usually dislike.

As predicted, the kids love the porch swing and take turns reading in it all day, but the 11-year-old loves it most. He keeps giving me suggestions about the ongoing project and I even caught him Googling patio decorating ideas yesterday.

—4—

I talked about finishing a marathon deck-staining project a few weeks ago, and with that beautiful blank canvas we were ready to start furnishing it. I'd been researching patio furniture for weeks, but with all of our parental responsibilities gone Phillip and I were able to decide on, purchase, and assemble a seating area. It turned out great, even though we had to order the rug twice because the first one came shrink wrapped but with the top ripped off so it was all frayed and dirty on one edge.

Those double doors go right to Phillip's and my bedroom so this is meant to be kind of a couple spot, but I guess the kids can sit here if they want to.

Fun fact: while this rug came form Amazon clumsily packaged, the outdoor mat we ordered from Wal-Mart arrived more securely fastened than an infant in a car seat. It came rolled up and Saran wrapped in a bag which was taped shut, inside of a box. Get it together, Amazon.

—5—

Do NOT be jealous of all these beautiful "after" pictures I'm showing you. I mean it. For the past year and a half, we haven't used the deck for anything because the sliding door leading outside was broken, the deck was chipping and full of splinters, and there was nothing on it except for a rusty dining table with a moldy patio umbrella and a single chair with a giant hole ripped in the seat. I'm not even exaggerating. We were one pair of shirtless overalls away from having a tireless automobile in the front yard.

The patio umbrella and chair are too far gone, but I decided I could still save the table so right now I'm prepping it in the basement to sand and paint. It's going pretty good, so far I only accidentally sploshed metal primer on my phone and got it all up in the speaker ports once. 

We also ordered a metal bench for one side of the table, and I thought I found a good deal on a set of 4 dining chairs at Target for the other side but I was WRONG. 

First of all, they didn't send me chairs, they sent me a pile of metal sticks and a crescent wrench for elves.

NOT a chair.

Second of all, the assembly was so annoying. It required two sets of hands, and by the time we finished the first chair I wanted to go burn down a Target. 

After putting the second chair together, we noticed a defect in the way the slingback fabric was attached to the base of the chair and that was the last straw. We packed it all back up to return and I did get my money back, but what I really wanted was a refund on the two hours I spent assembling and disassembling it. 

—6—

My son is entering middle school and we went to a family cookout and school tour. It ended up being really nice. I met a new family who just moved here a week ago and both of my kids had friends there.

I loved the principal, too. He started the tour by sitting all the new middle schoolers down and asking, "Who's excited to get up early? Maybe 6... 7?" and waited for them to laugh.

For those who don't know, tweeners everywhere are mindlessly saying "6, 7" in a dopey voice, copied from some viral video. It means nothing, so don't even worry about it. I've asked my 8th grader to explain it and she just mumbles some stuff and says it's hard to explain.

—7—

During the tour, I said hi to a mom I didn't recognize and it turned out that our kids had been on the same sports team at one point. We were trying to remember when they'd played together, and I laughed and said something like, "All the sports seasons sort of blend together."

"And you have like a million kids, right?" The other mom asked, with a tone so unironic it sounded less like playful exaggeration and more like she thought 6 kids really was the same as an actual million.

So I told her, "Almost." 

Aaaaand that was the end of that conversation.

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7 Quick Takes about Emoticons 2.0, Joining the We Do Not Care Club, and Sliding In Just Under the Wire

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week? 

—1—

Emoticons are back. Not the picture emojis that eventually replaced them, I'm talking about the OG symbols where you figured out how to use existing keys on the keyboard to depict a facial expression. Like this:

:)

or this:

:0

or this:

;-P

It looks like my 17-year-old downloaded some kind of an emoticon keyboard, because in a text conversation with my husband he sent him this: 

Phillip knows it's 'woah' (not 'wo',) but he seems unconcerned about the difference.

All I have to say is :-/

This generation just doesn't understand. Emoticons were about using what was available to express ourselves in a makeshift kind of way. If you invent non-standard symbols to make better emoticons, that defeats the whole point.

—2—

This lady is all over my Facebook feed. This is the We Do Not Care Club, and the pointing and snapping one is absolutely me:

—3—

Phillip and I are alone this week, because our kids all went to visit their grandparents. It's a little bizarre and the house seems lifeless in comparison, but Phillip and I are finishing lots of home projects and also enjoying more time together than usual.

One afternoon we went out for dosa, which was good but the meat filling was pretty spicy. 

Honestly, I don't understand how people can say they genuinely like spicy food. Spicy food doesn't have a flavor: the flavor is "ow." While you can tolerate the inside of your mouth hurting, I don't think you can really enjoy it.

At least I can't.

So I didn't finish my dosa, because I'm at the age where We Do Not Care to eat food we actively don't enjoy in the name of being adventurous.

—4—

Companies are trying really hard to be funny and quirky now. Recently I ordered contacts for the 17-year-old and here were the shipping options:

And when we ordered patio furniture from Target, the status updates Phillip gets by email say things like: "Your order has shipped, oh boy (oh boy, oh boy!)" Calm down, Target. It's some Adirondack chairs and a coffee table, not my insulin.

—5—

The porch swing we ordered for the front porch didn't arrive when it was supposed to, so I called customer service. They said it had been delivered and showed me a picture, and I recognized instantly where it was.

Down the street, there's the workshop of a carpenter/contractor. It doesn't look like a normal house and doesn't even have a mailbox or a front door, but somehow I still get packages misdelivered there sometimes.

When I showed up to retrieve the porch swing, the big box was lying at the front of the workshop, 2" away from a handwritten sign saying "This is NOT a home" with delivery instructions and a big arrow pointing to my other neighbor's house. So apparently they're having the same issue over there.

—6—

My bi-monthly temple shift always begins with a prep meeting at 8 AM. It's part of my responsibility to run the meeting which always starts at 8 o'clock on the dot, and by some miracle I haven't been late to one yet. I'm never early, though.

This Wednesday I walked in at 7:58 and took a seat, and heard the temple matron say to the temple president, "See? There she is!"

Turning to me, she said, "He was saying 'Sister Evans isn't here yet!' and I told him 'Don't worry, she'll scoot in just a few seconds before we start.'" With a smile, she added "And you did." 

It's not my fault. After having young children for so many years, I have a deep-seated fear of being early that will probably never go away. The worst possible thing was showing up early and using up their 15 minutes of good behavior before the thing even started. 

Being early just doesn't make sense to me. It's always seemed much more advantageous to arrive like Indiana Jones skidding under the stone garage door in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

—7—

Phillip took the day off work and went with me to the beach I was raving about last week. I knew he would love the clear water, and he did. And since it was just him and me, we didn't even have to rush home so someone could get to work/gymnastics/cross-country/whatever. We had nothing whatsoever on the calendar and I actually sat at the beach and read a book, which I don't think I've done since 2002.

We also saw a heron tip-toeing around, scanning the water patiently for fish:

These pictures were taken last week with my girls, but for all I know, it could be the same heron so it still counts.

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